SAN DIEGO, Calif. (KGTV) — Bertha Loaiza was just three years old when her mother jumped from the Coronado bridge with her in her arms.
“No matter what I say or do, I know it’s not going to bring her back. But I survived that…and I carry her story with me,” she said.
Loaiza sat down with ABC 10News, sharing her deeply personal story to help raise awareness for suicide prevention month.
She says she didn’t learn the truth about how her mother died until she was 17 years old.
“I felt bad for my family…for having them having to carry that all these years,” she said, tearfully.
Like many who have lost someone to suicide, Loaiza says she struggled with complex grief and guilt for years.
“I have to tell myself it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t her fault. It was an illness that took her,” she said.
Loaiza has since turned her pain into purpose – working now as an advocate for mental health and suicide prevention.
“That was her battle that she lost. Now, I see all the resources that are so easy for us to access but maybe we’re still pretty ashamed to access. I would give anything to share that with my mom now,” she said.
Dr. Sarah Simmons, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente is working to break down any stigma around mental health.
“The important thing to realize…is that depression is a neurobiological disorder of the brain. And sometimes people think it’s this deficit in character, but that’s just not true,” said Simmons.
She says the symptoms of those battling depression or suicidal thoughts can be easy to miss and easy to hide: “not having energy, low interest in things, feeling guilty.”
It’s why she says leaning on loved ones and support systems is essential.
The San Diego crisis hotline is available 24-7. If you or someone you know is struggling, the number is (888) 724-7240.
You can also call 988 for the suicide and crisis lifeline.
